It has been quite a while since I have posted here. Having 2 children in 2 yrs has kept me extremely busy. After several years of diaper changes, breastfeeding, sleepless nights and everything else- I have found a few moments to jot down some words.
I am a mom. A title I wasn't sure I would ever bear. But here I am a mom of 2. Before having my children I was very confident in myself, my beliefs and how to go about my days. Once the kids came along I found myself in a ball of confusion & uncertainty. Parenthood is hard but motherhood is harder. Our hormones go through tennis matches daily from the second we become pregnant. Our bodies change unrecognizably! My first born was 10 pounds 5 ounces. My second was estimated to be just as big....I am 5 feet tall, never more than 120 pounds, how do you think my body handled that! The physical changes are drastic and reality even more! These 2 souls are now part of my every breathe. Beautiful right? And terrifying at the same time! I can not fuck up! I can not have an 'off' day! Do you know what kind of pressure that is?! It sucks!
I am re-teaching myself to let go. To accept and let go. As my husband says, "keep it simple" stop trying too hard and overcomplicating! I have a tendency to do this because I want the best for my kids. Every parent wants the best and we can literally drive ourselves crazy trying to achieve that!
To all you parents out there: I feel you, I get it! And to all you moms out there: I KNOW! I UNDERSTAND!
Now that the children are older-our youngest will be 2 in December. I have started to take care of me again. I make time to exercise, read, write and do all the things that make me happy and make me feel like me again. These things also help me be a better mom and wife.
Setting yourself aside is difficult when its constant. I can feel myself get frustrated inside when its becoming too much. Important to do something before you feel you want to explode.
Being a mom is a tough job. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. I hate disciplining, correcting and constantly having to hear my voice saying this or that. But we are raising human beings- we were chosen to do this job so we must give it our 1000%!
I am learning so much on this journey and I hope and pray I am doing a good job! For all moms out there know that you are never alone. There are plenty of us who feel, think and do the very same as you. So on the days you fed your kids hot dogs & chips and you feel like the biggest failure....remind yourself that you did amazing the other 360 days this year and go do something for you.
My next me task is setting up a vision board. Been 4 yrs since I had one up. What are you going to do for yourself today?